It has been many years since I lost my Mother, she died of Leukemia which she kept away from most of the family, she did not want to worry us. That was typical of her and off her generation. It was only at the end I was told she was very ill. I was at RAF Valley in North Wales in a job as full time Mountain Rescue and was living with my partner and her young daughter. As we are at that time in life I was caught up with my career and very driven. I always phoned Mum every week she never told me she was ill until the last few days of her life when I was summoned home. I was shocked to see her so frail and yet so strong and still very beautiful. She wanted my brother home immediately from Bermuda and he just made it. Though in great pain she never complained and just wanted her family around.
My life in Mountain Rescue has led me to see many tragedies close up and I think I never really felt the effect of this great loss at the time as I was hardened by what I had seen in the mountains. It is a terrible thing to admit that I seemed to cut myself off at the time from the hurt and pain of her death. Even when I had to go back home straight after the funeral to North Wales and my partner Vicky tried to console me I was very hard to deal with, it was my way, to man up and not show the hurt I felt. I did get a few days to talk to my Mum at the end, we had a few chats even though she was very ill and I told her about my life in Wales, my new love and plans. She said as long as I was happy so was she. Mum was the finest person I have ever met. She gave me along with my Dad a great chance in life and my love for the outdoors. She was the one who dealt with the five children as like many Dad’s his work as a minister was his life. Money was tight in a big family and even bigger house to heat and look after but the love we had been incredible and the adventures we had were life enduring. Long days on the hills, a love of sport and she was an avid Ayr United fan both home and away! She did not have long with the grandchildren but they were her joy, how she would love to see how they have all done in life.
At the end she was very upset that she could leave us nothing in the way of material possessions but she gave us all so many life skills I can never repay her. I was the wild child but she looked after me and was always there for me, it is such a loss in my life I feel it and still miss her and my Dad. It was such a pity as we all progressed in life we could have made life much better for them but it was not to be but what a legacy they gave me.
Today is a special day but our parents are special always, never put off for another day what you can do today in showing your appreciation for them, they are not here forever! Treat every day as Mothers Day and tell them you love them.
As I write this in Canada I am so glad to have such a lovely Mother and feel very proud of her and wish she was still with me. When I am in trouble she is always there for me. How she would have loved to see how we all are, I am sure she does.
I am lucky I am in Canada just now and will have a few thoughts tomorrow in this wonderful place of the great memories amongst the beauty of Canada.
Thanks Mum xxxxxx