Lots of emotions and thoughts over the last 100 days.
At first there was great sadness as my grand kids moved South. I was so used to seeing them regularly that hurt. I did fear for the future for them. I missed their cuddles more than ever but they all kept me going throughout with pictures and chats and updates. My sister was in touch daily we are very close, she lives in Ayr and chatted every day.
I must admit that I had a real worry as I had problems with my breathing past damage to my lungs. I was waiting for a scan when the lock down came. I still am but but had to work at it I made myself go out for my daily exercise that kept me sane.
Living alone has never been a problem for me but I found it hard at times for the first time in my life. My family and so many Good pals stayed in touch and the folk in my village is so helpful. I have shops in the same street that I live and they are superb.hen we met in the street folk had time to speak (maintaining distances) yet I missed the close contact. I missed visiting pals dropping in and getting out and about.
I have an old friend in a Care home she has been on lock down even longer than us. We speak every night. She is well looked after but is on her own room, cut off her family live abroad. That is hard for her yet she is of a generation that copes. I get her some bits and pieces most weeks and drop them off. She waved from her room when I drop them off. A memory I will not forget.
It was strange but I am lucky to have a big empty beach and forest and most days was out on my bike. It was hard at first due to my breathing and I took it easy. I saw so much wild life and flowers heard so many birds and wild birds. I took some lunch and sat on the beach or the dunes and took it all in. At times I cycled along the beach listening to the waves at times the waves were full of pollen. The weather luckily mostly days was superb and as I have no garden this was my place to go. This was my space and I could see the snow on Ben Wyvis most days. On my bike trips sadly most days as things moved on I picked up rubbish, cans bottles and those awful “disposable barbecues” I even added a pannier to carry the rubbish . Many have been tidying up after the few.
The Media. News, Facebook etc.
At first I listened to it all news but in the end it was once a day. I was saddened by some of my friends attitudes but we are all different ways of coping . To many missing the hills and the wild was their main problem. Yet others were and are coping with family deaths being unable to see friends and the worry about work in the future. Worry about keeping jobs, businesses and looking after their families. Especially with those who are shielding.
It opened my eyes again to how insular we all can be?
I would hate to be a politician of any party making these decisions during this time? Yet many I hope have learned what is important in life. It’s amazing how many folk are experts with hindsight? I do not get involved in the politics at the moment to me it’s not the time. I leave it to others. There will be lots of time for this? How do we change things for a better future?
Do we need a dare I say it a “COVID tax” for all those who can pay for all the things we take for granted. The NHS and others who need better wages for those who have proved that they are essential, mostly poorly paid? Maybe even a re-evaluation off top earners wages ?
This tragedy has cost the country so much and will take years to recover from? There is lots of work to do.
In all it’s been a strange time, worrying about those wee love and care for. Yet even at my age I have learned a lot about so many things.
I have enjoyed the radio and various podcast. I have read so many books and listened to music. Had a big sort out of gear and will have a load for the charity shops.
I kept my blog going and got some good responses. Yet I could not write my book: for me it was too dark at times. I found that it was easy to get dark thoughts so maybe later. It’s so hard to explain ?
I cannot wait to get out on the hills again it’s going to be so good. I will not go to a busy area as I love the space and solitude. I long to see the wildlife the flowers and the views.
In all it’s been a life changing time something I never thought I would be involved in.
Thanks for all those who stayed in touch and I have tried to contact many who I had lost touch with. It’s going to be a long haul with ups and downs. All we can do is take care try to support our family friends and local business’s. Be careful and remember there are many still out there who are shielding and vulnerable.
Try to see each other’s views not matter how much you may disagree. Look after each other. Write that letter, build bridges and stay in touch. I wonder what the next 100 days will bring?
Thanks to all for your kind words. I have not had a drink for over 100 days!