Mother’s Day

Mothers Day

I always think about my Mum even more so just now. A few days ago was the day of Women who Inspire my Mum is without doubt the lady I was always inspired by her.

It has been many years since I lost my Mother, she died of Leukaemia an awful disease which she kept away from most of the family, she did not want to worry us. That was typical of her and off her generation. It was only at the end I was told she was very ill. I was at RAF Valley in North Wales in a job as full time Mountain Rescue Deputy Team Leader and was living with my partner and her young daughter.

As we all are at that time in life I was caught up with my career, I was selfish in my life and very driven. I had always phoned Mum every week but she never told me she was ill until the last few days of her life when I was summoned home. I was shocked when I was called home as she was dying and to see her so frail and yet so strong in mind and still very beautiful.

My life in Mountain Rescue had led me to see many tragedies close up and be unaffected by them. I think I never really felt the effect of this great loss at the time as I was hardened by what I had seen in the mountains. It is a terrible thing to admit that I seemed to cut myself off at the time from the hurt and pain of her death.

Even when I had to go back home straight to work after the funeral to North Wales and my partner and friend’s tried to console me I was very hard to deal with.

I think it was my way, to man up and not show the hurt I felt. I did get a few days to talk to my Mum at the end, we had a few chats even though she was very ill and I told her about my life in Wales, my new love and plans. She said as long as I was happy so was she.

Mum was the finest person I have ever met, she was so caring. She gave me along with my Dad a great chance in life and my love for the outdoors. She was the one who dealt with the five children a huge Manse the poor wages and a big house to heat and look after. The love we had been incredible and the adventures we had were life enduring. Long days on the hills, in Arran, Galloway and the Highlands a love of sport and she was an avid Ayr United fan both home and away! She loved the tennis and how she would have loved to see Andy Murray in his prime. She would have been so proud of Andy Murray and his brother in the tennis world and I believe she watches them in heaven.

She did not have long with the grandchildren but they were her joy, how she would love to see how they have all done in life. Money was always tight in a big family she would give away her last penny.

My Dad was a minister old style he visited his people the needy, the sick and the dying every night, we rarely saw him. Mum brought us all up and the work she did for the Church was incredible. At the end Mum was very upset that she felt that she could leave us nothing in the way of material possessions but she gave us all so many life skills I can never repay her.

These last few days were very special and I will never forget carrying her to the bathroom and helping her near the end. She was so frail but so clear in what she said to me. To her I was still the “wild child” of the family but she looked after me and was always there for me.

To m is such a loss in my life I feel it and still miss her and my Dad. It was such a pity as we all progressed in life we could have made her life so much better for them but it was not to be but what a legacy they gave us all.

Nowadays I worry as all many children are interested in is the financial legacy they may inherit and Mum and Dad are packed off to an Old Folk’s home and left. We have so much to learn about looking after out elderly folk maybe Covid will make us all rethink how we respect and look after our loved ones.

I also got my love flowers and got that from my Mum so every few weeks I buy some or pick them and they always remind me of her. I have her deep love of the wild places and still feel her with me when out and about, what would she have made of today’s world, I wonder?

Today is a special day but our parents are special always. My advice is never put off for another day what you can do today in showing your appreciation for them, they are not here forever

Treat every day as Mother’s Day and tell them you love them. This year there will be many who cannot visit our Mums yet those who can we must speak to them and use technology for those far way to be with them. Many of us who are lucky enough to have Mothers that are still about and with us.

I was speaking to a friend who was at a funeral recently where a son had fallen out with his mother and he had not spoken to her for over a year she died suddenly. How tragic is that?

As I write I am so glad to have had such a lovely Mother and feel very proud of her and wish she was still with me. When I am in trouble she is always there for me. How she would have loved to see how we all are, I am sure she does.

Love your Mum every day.